Dear Nusach Freak readers....
the NF would love to continue entertainign you with his writing. But well, as the NF has moved to the holy city of Jerusalem and started praying at a rather well-known south Jerusalem synagogue, there is just nothing to write about.
The NF's new shul has 4 gabbaim of which 3 are Yekke/Swiss and literally everything runs like clockwork. The leining is flawless 99% of the time (and I mean flawless --- shva nach, nah, mapik hei etc) and the gabbaim are rather picky about who they allow to daven (the NF and Dr D are asked quite regularly). Sure you get the occaisonal cantorial masturbation or the French baal tefilla who always starts too high and cracks or the old guy who belts out some melody from the late 19th century. But literally no new blogging material has made it itself available since Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur. Well. Until we got to Pesach that is.
1st Day - Dr. D davened a very good Shacharit with a above average hallel (only mistake - a bad melody selection for מה אשיב that left us all feeling a little bit icky)
Musaf/Tefillat Tal was not my cup of tea as I thought it failed to inspire (no one seemed to recognize any of the melodies used by the baal tefilla - from יה אלי through the מכלכל חיים after תפילת טל making for a bit of a schleppy albeit nusachly correct davening but there was no gonging going on).
Shabbat Chol Hamoed - the NF and family travelled to an Israeli coastal town to spend the weekend with relatives. Davening on Shabbat was very poor (offkey, unispired hallel, baal musaf couldn't of told you if he was davening shacharit or musaf, what chag it was or if he was davening nusach sfarad or ashkenaz) but again, the NF did not feel compelled to share his experience with you.
The NF and family returned to our home in the holy city for the 7th day of chag. Moses said "Let my people go" and indeed the S**t hit the fan as SmartAleck led shacharit. SmartAleck has one of the nicest voices I've ever heard in a shul. I've heard him daven a few times over the last few years and the man has a clear talent in introducing complex melodies into the davening. But this 7th day of Pesach was not SmartAleck's best effort.
Shacharit started tradionally enough. Although he was a tad slow, shacharit itself was alright...until tzur yisrael before the amida. Smartaleck decided to sing the section to the Sefardi Tzur Mishelo/Los Biblicos Cantan Romanza. It's actually a nice melody which the NF uses for ושמרו in chazarat hashat"z of Shabbat Shacharit when there is enough time and the kahal has patience ---- if there is hallel or a double parsha, I would never try to elongate the davening.
and then we hit hallel --- 35 minutes later we finished. and it was horrible. He sang things that were in the siddur. He sang things that weren't in the siddur. Any word in hallel that reminded him of a niggun he had once heard meant he had to the sing the niggun with lots of lay lay lays etc. SmartAleck was misreading the crowd - no one was singing along and people were getting antsy. We eventually made it to הודו לה' כי טוב and SmartAleck started singing some melody I'd never heard before but sounded like something one would hear on GalGalatz....and then he did it....he anwered himself. Yes, he sang Hodu LaShem and then repeated. He then sang yomar na yisrael and then answered himself with a hodu Lashem etc. never seen that done before. gong.
Having started davening at 8:30, we fininshed hallel at the unheard of time of 9:45 (we usually finish the entire davening by 10:30)....but we weren't done. SmartAleck started הוצאת ספר תורה....upon hitting ואני תפילתי he didn't sing the traditonal meldy nor did he introduce a new innovative melody (the NF uses ולירושלים עירך on weekdays and ברול אל עליון on shabbat/YK)......no. Smartaleck started a non descript, slow, unidentifiable chant. But we weren't done. SmartAleck took the torah and said Shema using the yamim noraim melody!!!!
An old women cursed her very existence and wished she had never been born. An old man had a stroke and babies, children and adults had diahrea right there in the shul sanctuary --- except for those who were constipated (it was Pesach after all), they threw up.
gong. Let's just say that SmartAleck is no longer being considered for a tefilla or 2 on the yamim noraim.
In other news, the NF has finished the writing stage of the sefer torah --- I brought the torah to another sofer this past week for tiyug (adding the little crowns) and then we'll start the checking process.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Funny
Sorry for not having posted much in the last few months....The NF has been really busy.
here is a very cute little video from "אנדרוס"....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKH_4-DMRus
here is a very cute little video from "אנדרוס"....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKH_4-DMRus
Thursday, October 11, 2012
A Jewish Rain Dance
A reader has written in with a question regarding that Jewish Rain Dance called Tefillat Geshem:
From: "I Love the Nusach Freak"
Date: Oct 11, 2012 6:04 AM
Subject: Tefillat Geshem/Tal
To: nusachfreak@gmail.com
Dear NF,
First of all, just discovered your blog, and it's amazing. Some of our nussachim are simply specimens of beautiful composition and totally deserve the respect you pay them.
Second of all, when on Shmini Atzeret the guy davening Mussaf used the Chatzi Kaddish from Yamim Noraim Shachris (or at least something very similar), I silently went a little crazy because I was expecting Yamim Noraim Mussaf (which I personally think is really, really beautiful). But after doing some research I discovered he was right. My question is, quite simply, why? How does it make sense to stick a Shachris Kaddish in a Mussaf?
Thanks,
Dear "I Love the Nusach Freak"
Thank you so much for your mail. You are so right: some of our nussachim are simply specimens of beautiful composition. Unfortunetly many others are complete dreck. But really who are we to judge?
Regarding Tefillat Geshem -- Let's start with some background regarding what to use when. In Ashkenazi nusach there is a concept of mi-sinai niggunim which of course means that they are not from sinai. Here is a link to an excellent article by Cantor Sherwood Goffin on the matter.
In Ashkenazi nusach using the R"h/Y"k musaf kaddish for Tal/Geshem would kind of be like playing God Save the Queen instead of the Star Spangled Banner. Lhavdil, of course. I can only think what would happen should such a thing occur (mixing up the kadishim, not the anthems) and I'm pretty sure it would involve mixed dancing and inter-marriage.
having said that, there are three distinct nusachim that all have 2 very similar attributes (and that are all mi-Sinai niggunim):
1. Tal/Geshem
2. Neilah
3. the kaddish before baruch hu on R"H and Y"k (I'm not actually sure if this is a mi-Sinai niggun but since nobody is going to get hurt if we call it one, let's go for it). Listen to about 10 minutes in....
Each kaddish starts with a declining scale for the words יתגדל ויתקדש followed by a sudden jump to a higher note for שמיא רבה . This is followed by all sorts of ay yay yays. I never really thought about it before but I guess there are similarities between Shacharit and Tal. So-So chazzanim are always getting confused between Tal/Geshem and neiilah and thus, one way to test a chazzan if he knows his nusach is to ask him to sing both and identify which is which. I have alsways found that the way to remember the Neilah melody is that the melody on the initial words have a certain desperation while Tal and Geshem is a long slow decline which makes sense when we are in no hurry on chag (unless of course it is the first day of Pesach and the prunes that you had for breakfast finally did the trick right before musaf).
I hope that answers your question.
- the NF
From: "I Love the Nusach Freak"
Date: Oct 11, 2012 6:04 AM
Subject: Tefillat Geshem/Tal
To: nusachfreak@gmail.com
Dear NF,
First of all, just discovered your blog, and it's amazing. Some of our nussachim are simply specimens of beautiful composition and totally deserve the respect you pay them.
Second of all, when on Shmini Atzeret the guy davening Mussaf used the Chatzi Kaddish from Yamim Noraim Shachris (or at least something very similar), I silently went a little crazy because I was expecting Yamim Noraim Mussaf (which I personally think is really, really beautiful). But after doing some research I discovered he was right. My question is, quite simply, why? How does it make sense to stick a Shachris Kaddish in a Mussaf?
Thanks,
Dear "I Love the Nusach Freak"
Thank you so much for your mail. You are so right: some of our nussachim are simply specimens of beautiful composition. Unfortunetly many others are complete dreck. But really who are we to judge?
Regarding Tefillat Geshem -- Let's start with some background regarding what to use when. In Ashkenazi nusach there is a concept of mi-sinai niggunim which of course means that they are not from sinai. Here is a link to an excellent article by Cantor Sherwood Goffin on the matter.
In Ashkenazi nusach using the R"h/Y"k musaf kaddish for Tal/Geshem would kind of be like playing God Save the Queen instead of the Star Spangled Banner. Lhavdil, of course. I can only think what would happen should such a thing occur (mixing up the kadishim, not the anthems) and I'm pretty sure it would involve mixed dancing and inter-marriage.
having said that, there are three distinct nusachim that all have 2 very similar attributes (and that are all mi-Sinai niggunim):
1. Tal/Geshem
2. Neilah
3. the kaddish before baruch hu on R"H and Y"k (I'm not actually sure if this is a mi-Sinai niggun but since nobody is going to get hurt if we call it one, let's go for it). Listen to about 10 minutes in....
Each kaddish starts with a declining scale for the words יתגדל ויתקדש followed by a sudden jump to a higher note for שמיא רבה . This is followed by all sorts of ay yay yays. I never really thought about it before but I guess there are similarities between Shacharit and Tal. So-So chazzanim are always getting confused between Tal/Geshem and neiilah and thus, one way to test a chazzan if he knows his nusach is to ask him to sing both and identify which is which. I have alsways found that the way to remember the Neilah melody is that the melody on the initial words have a certain desperation while Tal and Geshem is a long slow decline which makes sense when we are in no hurry on chag (unless of course it is the first day of Pesach and the prunes that you had for breakfast finally did the trick right before musaf).
I hope that answers your question.
- the NF
Shabbat Chol Hamoed - A guest blog
Editor's note: The NF is pleased to once agin host a guest post from the Big Gong.
________________________________
Yankel led shacharit, which I have to say, was surprisingly bearable. It was almost as if he was showing some sensitivity to the fact that we would soon have to endure 28 minutes of a man (editor's note: the same guy who led YK shacharit last year) reading kohelet whilst his underwear was clearly too tight. They must have been very tight because he at least went at some pace.
The one foul up Yankel did make, IMO, was to use this tune during Hallel (as a bonus, the clip features both kol isha and some buxom seminary girls jumping up and down)
Just because a popular song has the same words as are included in Hallel, it doesn’t mean it suits the responsive nature of that particular part of tefilla. No one knew if they were coming or going --- and that was before they saw said clip of buxom seminary girls. (Editor's note: I take no respondibility for the Big Gong's humour).
The Torah reading was so slow, it was actually read backward. We ended up somewhere in Vaera for the Maftir.
When Ben Bollocks took the stage for Musaf an audible sigh was heard. I walked around the shul collecting everyone's belts so as to minimise the suicide attempts that would surely follow as Bollocks, showing no sensitivity to the time, proceeded to belt out his now obligatory “Avinu Avinu”. Shoot me now. Twice. And then hang me.
I just don’t get it.
_______________________________
thank you Big Gong.
The NF has recieved an intersting question from a reader regarding the correct nusach for the kaddish preceding Tal/Geshem....Hopefully I will respond in a post soon.
________________________________
Yankel led shacharit, which I have to say, was surprisingly bearable. It was almost as if he was showing some sensitivity to the fact that we would soon have to endure 28 minutes of a man (editor's note: the same guy who led YK shacharit last year) reading kohelet whilst his underwear was clearly too tight. They must have been very tight because he at least went at some pace.
The one foul up Yankel did make, IMO, was to use this tune during Hallel (as a bonus, the clip features both kol isha and some buxom seminary girls jumping up and down)
Just because a popular song has the same words as are included in Hallel, it doesn’t mean it suits the responsive nature of that particular part of tefilla. No one knew if they were coming or going --- and that was before they saw said clip of buxom seminary girls. (Editor's note: I take no respondibility for the Big Gong's humour).
The Torah reading was so slow, it was actually read backward. We ended up somewhere in Vaera for the Maftir.
When Ben Bollocks took the stage for Musaf an audible sigh was heard. I walked around the shul collecting everyone's belts so as to minimise the suicide attempts that would surely follow as Bollocks, showing no sensitivity to the time, proceeded to belt out his now obligatory “Avinu Avinu”. Shoot me now. Twice. And then hang me.
I just don’t get it.
_______________________________
thank you Big Gong.
The NF has recieved an intersting question from a reader regarding the correct nusach for the kaddish preceding Tal/Geshem....Hopefully I will respond in a post soon.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Sukkot & Simchat Torah
shalom to the greater gonging community.
The NF was asked to lead Maariv the first night of sukkot....It's kind of fun being the shaliach tzibbur for a big (450+ people) minyan but it was a bit annoying that only a handful of people joined in for the English/German shalosh regalim kaddish before the amida. Here is a link to the sheet music. I'm still working on getting a sound file....
A good time was had by all over Sukkot, .זמן שמחתינו----- that is other than an NF fan who wrote to the NF describing his disgust of an experience he had at his local hashkama minyan on the first day of chag....Yes, Shacharit was fine (even if the chazzan screwed up Hoshanot), our fan was even forgiving when the chazzan for Musaf forgot ותערב. However, when the chazzan for musaf used the Partisan's song for kedusha, our fan had had enough. As our fan wrote:
"Yes, I just love that joyous image of jews in ghettos fighting the Nazis and marching under the gates of the camps to liven up my yomtov"
(At some point we may need to do a post on inappropriate melodies in shul)
Another NF fan told me of his disgust when on the first night of sukkot the baal tefilla in his shul used the pre-mussaf kaddish from the yamim noraim. If you don't know the nusach, don't get up there.
Simchat Torah
The NF happily spent some time in shul over Sukkot reading תולדות חג שמחת תורה by א יערי which identifies the origins (all in late antiquity) and various minhagim (very sketchy) practiced around the world on this awful day. I came across a minhag from E. Europe where the village melamed would lead all the little children through the village yelling out צאן קדשים to which the children would respond:
Mehhhhhh
Yes. יערי then dedicates 2 pages in his book breaking this minhag down mentioning in which towns the children would say, Mehh Mehh and which villages they just said Mehh.
So the NF brings the 4 little NFs to shul on simchat Torah night only to find an old guy yelling: צאן קדשים. Children responding loudly were rewarded with lots of candy.
All in all, hakafot were bareable at night...
In the AM, the NF davened at the 5:15 AM minyan, finishing at 7:45 AM. The problem: I ended up returning to shul at 9:30 with the children....At least kol Hanearim was very well organized (150+ children making their way after their aliya to shake hands with the rav and get a bag of junk.)
The NF was asked to lead Maariv the first night of sukkot....It's kind of fun being the shaliach tzibbur for a big (450+ people) minyan but it was a bit annoying that only a handful of people joined in for the English/German shalosh regalim kaddish before the amida. Here is a link to the sheet music. I'm still working on getting a sound file....
A good time was had by all over Sukkot, .זמן שמחתינו----- that is other than an NF fan who wrote to the NF describing his disgust of an experience he had at his local hashkama minyan on the first day of chag....Yes, Shacharit was fine (even if the chazzan screwed up Hoshanot), our fan was even forgiving when the chazzan for Musaf forgot ותערב. However, when the chazzan for musaf used the Partisan's song for kedusha, our fan had had enough. As our fan wrote:
"Yes, I just love that joyous image of jews in ghettos fighting the Nazis and marching under the gates of the camps to liven up my yomtov"
(At some point we may need to do a post on inappropriate melodies in shul)
Another NF fan told me of his disgust when on the first night of sukkot the baal tefilla in his shul used the pre-mussaf kaddish from the yamim noraim. If you don't know the nusach, don't get up there.
Simchat Torah
The NF happily spent some time in shul over Sukkot reading תולדות חג שמחת תורה by א יערי which identifies the origins (all in late antiquity) and various minhagim (very sketchy) practiced around the world on this awful day. I came across a minhag from E. Europe where the village melamed would lead all the little children through the village yelling out צאן קדשים to which the children would respond:
Mehhhhhh
Yes. יערי then dedicates 2 pages in his book breaking this minhag down mentioning in which towns the children would say, Mehh Mehh and which villages they just said Mehh.
So the NF brings the 4 little NFs to shul on simchat Torah night only to find an old guy yelling: צאן קדשים. Children responding loudly were rewarded with lots of candy.
All in all, hakafot were bareable at night...
In the AM, the NF davened at the 5:15 AM minyan, finishing at 7:45 AM. The problem: I ended up returning to shul at 9:30 with the children....At least kol Hanearim was very well organized (150+ children making their way after their aliya to shake hands with the rav and get a bag of junk.)
Thursday, September 27, 2012
0 for 5
No Golden Shtenders were given out over Yom Kippur.
The older gentlemen leading Kol Nidrei wasn't my cup of tea, Baal Shacharit had a nice voice but poor nusach and melody selection, Baal Musaf was alright until he used Fiddler on the roof for וכל מאמינים (GONG!). Baal mincha used this kaddish to start and then again as his victory kaddish. Enough said.
....and then the older gentlemen who had led kol nidrei led Neilah using the geshem nusach. Gong. and then he sang more or less everything to this melody. Double Gong. All in all it was an easy fast but the davening left us feeling a bit wanting.
The older gentlemen leading Kol Nidrei wasn't my cup of tea, Baal Shacharit had a nice voice but poor nusach and melody selection, Baal Musaf was alright until he used Fiddler on the roof for וכל מאמינים (GONG!). Baal mincha used this kaddish to start and then again as his victory kaddish. Enough said.
....and then the older gentlemen who had led kol nidrei led Neilah using the geshem nusach. Gong. and then he sang more or less everything to this melody. Double Gong. All in all it was an easy fast but the davening left us feeling a bit wanting.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Gmar Chatima Tovah
....and a Golden Shtender has been awarded to Dr. D, physician for an outstanding Musaf second day of R"h. Dr. D nailed Unetaneh Tokef using this nusach and then led a flawless Modzitz Ein Kitzvah earning him his 2nd Golden Shtender (his first was awarded two years ago for an excellent Y"k musaf at a vatikin minyan).
The NF led Shacharit first day R"h rather uneventfully.
my only new "chiddush" was switching to אנא ה' by Carlebach in the middle of לאל אורך דין....At the last second, I also decided to shake things up a bit and rather than using the traditional "victory" kaddish, I used the Modzitz Kaddish instead. Correct move. Mrs. NF tells me the entire davening was well recieved.
The guy whol led musaf first day was rather creative, using Leanord Cohen's Who by Fire for מי באש in Unetaneh Tokef and again Leanord Cohen's Hallelujah for הללוליה. Being that our minyan consists of people who enjoy singing/ harmonzing, it came out very nicely. Very gutsy.
So now we are in the 10 days of Awe and the NF has been getting the occasional email/phone call about moichelling. "Will you Moichel me?", I am asked.
Two reactions:
1. Maybe the NF has a sick mind (not just maybe- he does), but Moicheling really sounds like something very dirty that happens in the men's mikveh or in the back of the beis medrish between very "special" chavrusas or alternativly out in the pasture between a man and his sheep. Not that it makes them bad people or anything. (We don't judge here at Nusach Freak). But I'm not into that sort of thing so no, I will not moichel you.
2. You want me to forgive you? Tell me exactly for what you would like to be forgiven. You are not getting away with a blanket, "will you moichel me". I want to hear everything you said about me or did to me in the last 12 months. Then I can decide if I will forgive you.
Any way, the NF wishes everyone an easy fast and an enjoyable moichelling if you are into that sort of thing.
--- the NF
The NF led Shacharit first day R"h rather uneventfully.
my only new "chiddush" was switching to אנא ה' by Carlebach in the middle of לאל אורך דין....At the last second, I also decided to shake things up a bit and rather than using the traditional "victory" kaddish, I used the Modzitz Kaddish instead. Correct move. Mrs. NF tells me the entire davening was well recieved.
The guy whol led musaf first day was rather creative, using Leanord Cohen's Who by Fire for מי באש in Unetaneh Tokef and again Leanord Cohen's Hallelujah for הללוליה. Being that our minyan consists of people who enjoy singing/ harmonzing, it came out very nicely. Very gutsy.
So now we are in the 10 days of Awe and the NF has been getting the occasional email/phone call about moichelling. "Will you Moichel me?", I am asked.
Two reactions:
1. Maybe the NF has a sick mind (not just maybe- he does), but Moicheling really sounds like something very dirty that happens in the men's mikveh or in the back of the beis medrish between very "special" chavrusas or alternativly out in the pasture between a man and his sheep. Not that it makes them bad people or anything. (We don't judge here at Nusach Freak). But I'm not into that sort of thing so no, I will not moichel you.
2. You want me to forgive you? Tell me exactly for what you would like to be forgiven. You are not getting away with a blanket, "will you moichel me". I want to hear everything you said about me or did to me in the last 12 months. Then I can decide if I will forgive you.
Any way, the NF wishes everyone an easy fast and an enjoyable moichelling if you are into that sort of thing.
--- the NF
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