shabbat in Tel Aviv

The NF spent this past Shabbat in Tel Aviv at a small boutique hotel celebrating the shabbat chatan of Mrs. NF's recently married cousin.

At this boutique hotel does not have a dedicated room for tefilla purposes, the NF and his brother in laws attended an old Ashkenazi shul about 3 blocks away. Given that we are all in the 29-35 range age wise,  our presence went to lower the average age in the room to about 86. The NF was asked to daven friday night and surprisngly, the kahal sang along....

Shabbat morning, a really old dude davened shaharit with really nice nusach. Then when it came time to take out the torah, the chazan started singing all the familiar German melodies....of course the NF sang along much to the shock of all the old geezers who wanted to know how I knew German nusach....
The baal koreh leined yekke and the NF enjoyed showing NF#2 what a wimple looks like and how it is used during gelila....

By the end of davening, I had all these old guys talking to me in German (which I don't speak) and telling me yekke jokes. Example: How do we know that Adam HaRishon was a yekke? Because the Torah says: אדם, אדם איכה.....Adam Adam a-yekke.

Baal musaf was a guest who was trully horrible. He:
1. Sang the famous Kvodo Maleh Olam --- always sung by Ben  Bollocks --- but being that he was really frum, he sang it so that he didn't repeat any words. It sounded really bad.
2. He sang Mimkomo to the melody of Mitzva gedola leheot bsimcha....uh  hello! you are davening with a bunch of old yekkes whose idea of simcha is to have an ingrown toenail removed while singing  deutschland uber alles
3. For Shma Yisrael he used the famous chabad melody which is meant for nusach sfarad --- so the melody didn't fit.

Returning to the hotel, the NF and his brother in laws discovered that there was two families of a certain ethnic origin,  having a private minyan as part of a Shabbat Chatan....we were invited to join them for mincha....All the men other than the rav wore wife beaters , silky satin kippot on very gelled hair and lots of cologne....they sang some really awful pizmonim in an off-key manner bein gavra l'gavra (during mincha!) and then right after the sefer was retuned to the heichal, a fist fight broke out....The NF was completely in shock and still doesn't know what to make of it....