The Gong

This past Friday night the dvar torah between Kabbalat Shabbat and Arvit really sucked. Not just regular sucked, it really sucked. It was a ramble, boring, included silly gematrias etc.

Currently the shul I belong to is homeless as we raise money for a building. Not only are we homeless but no public buildings exist in the neighborhood so every week we daven in a different family's home.

So anyway, the really sucky dvar torah reminded me that when we finally get our building up I want to donate a gong. (yeah, I know that use of a gong can pose some problems on Shabbat but we'll just have to get Machon Tzomet to develop something for us). Anyway, everytime some does something sucky, the gabbaim (or me for that matter) gan gong the guy down.

Over Shabbat, a fellow mitpallel and I discussed some really sucky examples (that actually happened):
1. Using "yellow submarine" for the end of ein kitzvah
2. Using boi kala (Achinoam Nini) for Omnem Ken on Yom Kippur eve
3. Using any choson's tisch tune for Selichot on Yom Kippur eve (I was in a shul where this happened and all I could think about was smorg food)
4. Using "It's raining its pouring" or "singing in the rain" for kedusha on Shmini Atzeret. While inya dyoma might be there, it's kitchy and inappropriate.

Finally, the gabbaim messed up this past shabbat and during birchat hachodesh they told the shatz that rosh chodesh was going to be on Shabbat (and forgetting that it will also be on Sunday).
I just have one thing to say:


GONG!