Monday, May 23, 2011

Bad ideas

Hello all you gongers. My apologies for not having blogged in a while. Between, Pesach, work, and the sefer torah  (now 43% finished!) I simply have had no time to write....

A number of poeple have emailed me with a some nusach questions --- I will eventually get back to all of you --- it just may take some time.

So Friday night the NF attended an "Early Shabbat" minyan so that we could start Friday night dinner at a normal hour--- it was the first time in almost a month that the 4 little NFs were able to join us for the entire meal.

During davening the NF sat next to the Logical African (LA) and in the tradition of our forefathers, we began to schmooze. Just as a rather uninspired kabbalat shabbat was about to begin, I said the the LA, "wouldn't it suck if the chazzan decides to daven Carlebach style..."  Happily, the chazzan just sang meekly in the traditional manner and we were home and making kiddush in no time. In the meantime LA and the NF went through some chazzaning/synagogal no-nos:

1. Using Carelbach (with lots of niegh neigh neighs) at an early Shabbat  davening
2. Singing hallel on a weekday rosh chodesh at any minyan that starts before 8:30 AM
3. Making noise for every haman at a morning megilla reading (not attended by more than 5 women and children)
4. Trying to prevent the gabbaim from "ad-kanning" during hakafot at a simchat torah hashkama minyan.
5. Insisting on singing lmaan achai at the end of pitum haketoret.
6. A victory kaddish after any tefilla other than shacharit and musaf on R"H, the five tefillot of yom kippur and tal and geshem.
7. Singing random songs in psukei dezimra just because they have been set to music (example: שבחי ירושלים)
8. using the melody of heveinu shalom aleichem or hava nagila in davening, ever.

Unfortunetly, the NF has experienced each and everyone of these....

any others?

In other news, Dr. D reported that at the minyan he davened at on Yom Haatzmaut, an old (past his prime) chazzan used the melody of Puff the Magic Dragon in hallel. Gong.