The Yodeller davened musaf this past week. Thankfully, he didn't sing Avinu Avinu but then in kedusha he decided to yodel....As usual it was slightly off-key, full of repeated words and uninspiring. When the NF went to wash his hands before birkat kohanim he saw that "David Wallaby", a self-described hazzanut mumcheh was davening at our shul. So the NF asked if he recognized the yodeller's yodel. Apparently, the yodeller is trying to imitate an uber-famous hazzanut work composed by Leible Glanz. There are just a few problems with the yodeller's rendition:
1. Unlike Leibele, the Yodeler does not have a chazzan's voice
2. Unlike Leibele, the Yodeller is singing unaccompanied by a choir
3. Unless you really like chazzanut and Leibele Glanz's compositions and the chazzan singing has a really really nice voice, the said melody will give you a headache.
Here is a clip of Chazzan Netanel Baram singing the composition (not badly I must add -- I just don't like chazzanut). (When the NF played the you tube clip for Mrs. NF this morning, she covering her ears and started yelling "make it stop", she then started twitching and speaking in tongues.)
In summary, we have discovered what is behind the yodel and the yodeller is clearly guilty of cantorial self-gratification.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Guest Post - By Dr. D, Physician
Dr. D. called the NF early on in chol hamoed to let me know that material had made itself available at Tel Aviv hotel on the water.
We, the gonging community, appreciate Dr. D's thinking of us while on holiday and providing us with this guest post.
------
Emboldened by his recent award of a golden shtender, Dr D, physician, went with high spirits to a top hotel in Tel Aviv for Succot. Actually Dr D should point out that that the NF awarded 4 golden shtenders for Yom Kippur, which given that there are only 5 services reduces the meaning somewhat but Dr D is still delighted.
Now, the NF has already written about hotel minyanim, but the events of Succot were so terrible that they need documenting in order to warn future generations.
On Shabbat Chol HaMoed, Dr D decided to attend the hotel minyan as he could not be bothered to walk 15mins to the shul he was familiar with. Also, stuffed with pastries, cheeses and coffee, the walk to the hotel shul was difficult enough let alone beyond....There was a sense of foreboding as the hotel chazzan (whose voice resembled a stuttering sheep according to a relative) has a bad habit of incorporating his two sons (pre-pubescent) into the davening. Dr D has strident views on Jewish music - basically, Jewish music is bad enough, but sung by boys is excrutiating. Hearing pre-teenage boys screaming high notes all pronounced in that heavy oy-de-doy asheknazus makes Dr D pray for deafness. More on that later. Meanwhile, one of the obviously affluent Americans in the crowd did Pesukei Dezimra- and SANG most of the post-Ashrei paragraphs. By 'sang', he actually had figured out tunes to things -including applying Mizmor LeDavid for the latter half of Nishmat - huge huge gong. What next?? Rabbi Yishmael omer to Tov Lehodot Hashem?!?! This is the problem of letting rich people daven. Too many people suck up to them and let them get away with nusach-acide.
Shacharit- an Israeli led this and it has to be conceded that he was good so onwards....
Mussaf -cue the Chazzan and his two sons who sounded like strangled cats -really - terrible. Boys -like Jewish music should be seen and not heard (actually,not seen either).
But the piece de resistance - yes - Avinu Avinu with the two strangled cats humming the HaTikva at the end.
The gong was bashed to pieces.
----
thank you Dr. D.
--- the NF
We, the gonging community, appreciate Dr. D's thinking of us while on holiday and providing us with this guest post.
------
Emboldened by his recent award of a golden shtender, Dr D, physician, went with high spirits to a top hotel in Tel Aviv for Succot. Actually Dr D should point out that that the NF awarded 4 golden shtenders for Yom Kippur, which given that there are only 5 services reduces the meaning somewhat but Dr D is still delighted.
Now, the NF has already written about hotel minyanim, but the events of Succot were so terrible that they need documenting in order to warn future generations.
On Shabbat Chol HaMoed, Dr D decided to attend the hotel minyan as he could not be bothered to walk 15mins to the shul he was familiar with. Also, stuffed with pastries, cheeses and coffee, the walk to the hotel shul was difficult enough let alone beyond....There was a sense of foreboding as the hotel chazzan (whose voice resembled a stuttering sheep according to a relative) has a bad habit of incorporating his two sons (pre-pubescent) into the davening. Dr D has strident views on Jewish music - basically, Jewish music is bad enough, but sung by boys is excrutiating. Hearing pre-teenage boys screaming high notes all pronounced in that heavy oy-de-doy asheknazus makes Dr D pray for deafness. More on that later. Meanwhile, one of the obviously affluent Americans in the crowd did Pesukei Dezimra- and SANG most of the post-Ashrei paragraphs. By 'sang', he actually had figured out tunes to things -including applying Mizmor LeDavid for the latter half of Nishmat - huge huge gong. What next?? Rabbi Yishmael omer to Tov Lehodot Hashem?!?! This is the problem of letting rich people daven. Too many people suck up to them and let them get away with nusach-acide.
Shacharit- an Israeli led this and it has to be conceded that he was good so onwards....
Mussaf -cue the Chazzan and his two sons who sounded like strangled cats -really - terrible. Boys -like Jewish music should be seen and not heard (actually,not seen either).
But the piece de resistance - yes - Avinu Avinu with the two strangled cats humming the HaTikva at the end.
The gong was bashed to pieces.
----
thank you Dr. D.
--- the NF
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Post Simchat Torah Write up
As many of you may recall, the NF is not a fan of Simchat Torah. However, this year's festivities passed without too much discomfort.
the NF and family attended evening hakafot at the local yokel shul --- nothing too offensive occured --- just a lot of men going around and around in circles and women looking on bored. Simchat Torah morning, the NF headed over to the early minyan (start time: 6 AM). The early minyan was standing room only...and very fast. The gabbaim told the chazan for shacharit that he was allowed to sing no more than 2 songs -- hakafot lasted 5 minutes and we zipped through leining. Baal Musaf (Tefillat Geshem) did a nice job and the NF went home (at 8:15 AM) with a big smile on his face.
Adding to the fun was Yoni R's shtick...in a November post from last year, the NF mentioned that if one were to perfrom shtick on Simchat Torah it might as well be original --- like putting peanut butter in the Cohanim's shoes during birkat Cohanim...When the NF finished duchening in shacharit, he went to put on his shoes only to find a surprise as placed there by Yoni R.
The following is a photographic reconstruction of what I found....
....the note inside contained my aforementioned blog spot with my peanut butter suggestion highlighted. Way to go Yoni R.
Given Yoni R. consistent dedication to this blog, the board has voted 5 to 2 to change his blog psuedoname to something cooler than Yoni R. I request that, you the readers, provide me with feedback on what that cool new name should be.
the options:
1. the Artist formerly known as Yoni R.
2. Big Jim R.
3. Statler
4. The Stam posselizer
A couple of additional items...
Last night, the Baltimore Chop told me of a terrible occurence....At the main minyan at one of the shuls in the neighborhood, the baal koreh, Rabbi Tom Hagen, sang kaddish before maftir to take me out to the ball game. Gong. Simchat Torah is not Purim. No Cracker Jacks for you.
and although we have a year until next year's chagim --- here is an awesome version of kol nidrei as sung by Kol Achai.
--- the NF
the NF and family attended evening hakafot at the local yokel shul --- nothing too offensive occured --- just a lot of men going around and around in circles and women looking on bored. Simchat Torah morning, the NF headed over to the early minyan (start time: 6 AM). The early minyan was standing room only...and very fast. The gabbaim told the chazan for shacharit that he was allowed to sing no more than 2 songs -- hakafot lasted 5 minutes and we zipped through leining. Baal Musaf (Tefillat Geshem) did a nice job and the NF went home (at 8:15 AM) with a big smile on his face.
Adding to the fun was Yoni R's shtick...in a November post from last year, the NF mentioned that if one were to perfrom shtick on Simchat Torah it might as well be original --- like putting peanut butter in the Cohanim's shoes during birkat Cohanim...When the NF finished duchening in shacharit, he went to put on his shoes only to find a surprise as placed there by Yoni R.
The following is a photographic reconstruction of what I found....
Given Yoni R. consistent dedication to this blog, the board has voted 5 to 2 to change his blog psuedoname to something cooler than Yoni R. I request that, you the readers, provide me with feedback on what that cool new name should be.
the options:
1. the Artist formerly known as Yoni R.
2. Big Jim R.
3. Statler
4. The Stam posselizer
A couple of additional items...
Last night, the Baltimore Chop told me of a terrible occurence....At the main minyan at one of the shuls in the neighborhood, the baal koreh, Rabbi Tom Hagen, sang kaddish before maftir to take me out to the ball game. Gong. Simchat Torah is not Purim. No Cracker Jacks for you.
and although we have a year until next year's chagim --- here is an awesome version of kol nidrei as sung by Kol Achai.
--- the NF
Sunday, September 26, 2010
A guest post
Moadim L'simcha to all you gongers...
while wishing you all moadim l'simcha I am reminded of when I lived in NY many moons back --- the NF noticed that new york jews are not good listeners and often hear what they want to hear. So on shabbat, I would greet all those of the Hebraic persuasion with a merry "Flannel Pajamas" (instead of Gutt Shabbes)....if the person had a kippa sruga on their head, I would say " I'm from Rome" (instead of Shabbat Shalom). No one ever beat an eye lash.
So when greeting someone on chol hamoed, I could have said, gutten moed or moadim l'simcha....but the NF wanted to see if anyone was actually listening....so every time I passed a "yid with a lid", I would mumble the name of a billionaire --- such as Rupert Murdoch, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet....not once did anyone question what I had just said and instead mumbled something back at me....still not sure what.
So Rupert Murdoch to you all.
The NF prayed in his local yokel shul on the first day of chag --- "Slow as Molasses" davened shacharit and was well, slow as molasses. "H" Davened musaf in his usual eyes closed, impossible to sing along with sort of way. Nothing too offensive, nothing really to gong.
Meanwhile, the Big Gong attended the early minyan both on the first day of chag and on shabbat and came away shaking his head...
While lunching over at the big Gong's this past shabbat --- while reviewing the general state of affairs (if any of you have heard the great lashon harah coming out of London you will understand)--- I suggested that the Big Gong again provide us with a guest blog.
Here it is folks:
-------
We had the pleasure of the NF’s family in our sukka today and after discussing two of my recent visits to the early minyan he suggested I write a guest post.
I had on the previous two occasions attended the highly efficient and usually highly pleasant early minyan in the locality. Shabbat’s proceedings passed with very little, if anything, to gong. The Baltimore Chop led a flawless shacharit. I particularly enjoyed his “Hodu la’Hashem”, although I couldn’t name the tune, let alone find you a youtube link. Yoni R read Kohelet and simultaneously provided me with the best 23 minutes of sleep I have had in a long time. Musaf passed quickly and without notable incident, particularly as the baal tefilla was clearly playing out of position by davening nusach ashkenazi.
I wish I could say the same about first day chag. Roger Mellie was asked to daven shacharit. He was guilty of too much singing for this particular minyan, in fact he was guilty of too much singing. It did the job I suppose, but the piece de resistance came at the end of the hoshanot. I thought at first my ears were deceiving me, but I listened again, and it was true.
Roger was belting out the “Victory Kaddish”.
On first day Sukkot.
After an unexceptional shacharit.
I shot a glance at Yoni R whose gnarled facial expression confirmed that he was hearing the same thing. For two days now I have been thinking of an explanation for Roger’s actions. But one eludes me. Some things in life are sacred, and amongst them is the RH/YK nusach. No longer it seems. Gong.
Musaf started with a rousing “Yekum Purkan” (this was chag remember, not Shabbat), and upon being heckled to go straight into thePrayer for the Queen State of Israel, the baal tefilla quickly followed with an equally rousing “Sorry” (in English) to the kehilla. At least we had a laugh to carry us through the rest of davening. Gong.
As disarming, and frankly unforgiveable, as that victory kaddish was, it gave the NF and myself hope. Hope like we haven’t had since that Pesach when someone confused Adir Hu with Maoz Tzur during Hallel.
Od Yishama b’arei ha’shefela u’vechutzot Modiin, kol sasson v’kol simcha, kol ha’gong v’kol ha’golden shtender.
I leave you with a little something to celebrate Julie Andrews birthday next week:
------
Thank you Big Gong. The NF may be getting another guest post this time from Dr. D after a painful experience at a local hotel over the first days of chag. In addition, I will try to respond to AddeRabbi's Yamim Noraim post.
Moadim L'simcha or Warren Buffet or something.
--- the NF
while wishing you all moadim l'simcha I am reminded of when I lived in NY many moons back --- the NF noticed that new york jews are not good listeners and often hear what they want to hear. So on shabbat, I would greet all those of the Hebraic persuasion with a merry "Flannel Pajamas" (instead of Gutt Shabbes)....if the person had a kippa sruga on their head, I would say " I'm from Rome" (instead of Shabbat Shalom). No one ever beat an eye lash.
So when greeting someone on chol hamoed, I could have said, gutten moed or moadim l'simcha....but the NF wanted to see if anyone was actually listening....so every time I passed a "yid with a lid", I would mumble the name of a billionaire --- such as Rupert Murdoch, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet....not once did anyone question what I had just said and instead mumbled something back at me....still not sure what.
So Rupert Murdoch to you all.
The NF prayed in his local yokel shul on the first day of chag --- "Slow as Molasses" davened shacharit and was well, slow as molasses. "H" Davened musaf in his usual eyes closed, impossible to sing along with sort of way. Nothing too offensive, nothing really to gong.
Meanwhile, the Big Gong attended the early minyan both on the first day of chag and on shabbat and came away shaking his head...
While lunching over at the big Gong's this past shabbat --- while reviewing the general state of affairs (if any of you have heard the great lashon harah coming out of London you will understand)--- I suggested that the Big Gong again provide us with a guest blog.
Here it is folks:
-------
We had the pleasure of the NF’s family in our sukka today and after discussing two of my recent visits to the early minyan he suggested I write a guest post.
I had on the previous two occasions attended the highly efficient and usually highly pleasant early minyan in the locality. Shabbat’s proceedings passed with very little, if anything, to gong. The Baltimore Chop led a flawless shacharit. I particularly enjoyed his “Hodu la’Hashem”, although I couldn’t name the tune, let alone find you a youtube link. Yoni R read Kohelet and simultaneously provided me with the best 23 minutes of sleep I have had in a long time. Musaf passed quickly and without notable incident, particularly as the baal tefilla was clearly playing out of position by davening nusach ashkenazi.
I wish I could say the same about first day chag. Roger Mellie was asked to daven shacharit. He was guilty of too much singing for this particular minyan, in fact he was guilty of too much singing. It did the job I suppose, but the piece de resistance came at the end of the hoshanot. I thought at first my ears were deceiving me, but I listened again, and it was true.
Roger was belting out the “Victory Kaddish”.
On first day Sukkot.
After an unexceptional shacharit.
I shot a glance at Yoni R whose gnarled facial expression confirmed that he was hearing the same thing. For two days now I have been thinking of an explanation for Roger’s actions. But one eludes me. Some things in life are sacred, and amongst them is the RH/YK nusach. No longer it seems. Gong.
Musaf started with a rousing “Yekum Purkan” (this was chag remember, not Shabbat), and upon being heckled to go straight into the
As disarming, and frankly unforgiveable, as that victory kaddish was, it gave the NF and myself hope. Hope like we haven’t had since that Pesach when someone confused Adir Hu with Maoz Tzur during Hallel.
Od Yishama b’arei ha’shefela u’vechutzot Modiin, kol sasson v’kol simcha, kol ha’gong v’kol ha’golden shtender.
I leave you with a little something to celebrate Julie Andrews birthday next week:
------
Thank you Big Gong. The NF may be getting another guest post this time from Dr. D after a painful experience at a local hotel over the first days of chag. In addition, I will try to respond to AddeRabbi's Yamim Noraim post.
Moadim L'simcha or Warren Buffet or something.
--- the NF
Sunday, September 19, 2010
y"k round-up
the NF wishes the greater gonging community a שנה טובה and hopes that everyone had an easy fast.
And the golden Shtenders go to:
1. To Dr D., physician. Dr. D davened musaf yesterday (after leading kol nidrei the night before) at the neighborhood vatikin minyan and was superb.
2. To Dr. Blue. The NF got to shul for mincha, got his talit and Depends on and waited for the yodeler to make the kahal crap itself. But alas, the yodeler got to shul and told the gabbaim that he did not want to daven. The gabbaim had to scramble to find a replacement and asked Dr. Blue to step-in. With no prior preparation Dr. Blue had perfect nusach, was fast and finished 7 minutes ahead of schedule.
3. To the Big Gong for his outstanding 16 minute psukei dezimra at the vatikin minyan and for refraining from telling me any rude jokes during the avoda (after numerous mikveh jokes erev y"k). After shul yesterday morning, the Big Gong went over to Dr D and said: "of you, me and the NF (who davened a 2-hour shacharit), who do you think was best?" you were, Big Gong, you were.
4. To the gonging gabbai --- for all his hard work over the chagim even if some of his baal tefilla selections were absolute bombs. Shkoychi.
As mentioned above, the NF led shacharit at the vatikin minyan (start time: 4:50 AM) which was a bit tricky. After getting through hamelech, I realized I had 7 minutes to get from barechu to גאל ישראל to hit נץ החמה. I turned on my special NF turbo engines and we hit it right on time. The NF did have to use a very fast melody for אל האדון, specifically the Carelbach לשנה הבאה בירושלים, which had the surprising effect of getting people singing at 5:15 AM.
The NF's melody selection:
אתה הוא אלהינו -- Naa'r Hayiti (For the record Yoni R, who continues to remind me that he is the only person on the blog without a cool pseudoname, told me that it was a kitsch selection) ---- with three part harmony from YS and Dr D.
היום יכתב- Mochel Avonot
אמרו לאלוהים - a large assortment of melodys including yachad, shomrim mafkidim, boi v'shalom (Carlebach) etc.
מעשה אלהינו - the London Yom Shabaton. I thought a lot about Marc Weinberg z"l while we we made our way through this piyut....we always sang this melody when our families had shabbat lunch together.
על ישראל - v'haviotim
האדרת והאמונה - the Seudah shlishit melody
קדושה -- from kvodo through shma yisrael, the Breslov Lecha Dodi.
שמע קולינו -- from Al tashlichenu etc I used the high part from lev tahor....
אנו עמך-- tzamah nafshi
אבינו מלכינו זכר רחמך -- prok yat anach
ואני תפילתי -- the NF "borrowed" YS's idea of using Baruch El Elyon...Luckily Mrs. NF wasn't there to scream at both of us for using too many shabbat melodies in the middle of Yamim Noraim davening.
for the record the NF really missed hearing YS's neilah....As noted in a prior post, the gabbaim didn't want anyone to have a chazaka so YS didn't lead neilah this year --- in my opinion a mistake. The person who led neilah used the geshem/tal meoldy for kaddish (gong) and the regular yamim noraim melody for avot (double gong). At least he sang mochel avonot a few time and he finished on time!
Time to go practice waving various garden specimens around.
-- the (very hoarse) NF
And the golden Shtenders go to:
1. To Dr D., physician. Dr. D davened musaf yesterday (after leading kol nidrei the night before) at the neighborhood vatikin minyan and was superb.
2. To Dr. Blue. The NF got to shul for mincha, got his talit and Depends on and waited for the yodeler to make the kahal crap itself. But alas, the yodeler got to shul and told the gabbaim that he did not want to daven. The gabbaim had to scramble to find a replacement and asked Dr. Blue to step-in. With no prior preparation Dr. Blue had perfect nusach, was fast and finished 7 minutes ahead of schedule.
3. To the Big Gong for his outstanding 16 minute psukei dezimra at the vatikin minyan and for refraining from telling me any rude jokes during the avoda (after numerous mikveh jokes erev y"k). After shul yesterday morning, the Big Gong went over to Dr D and said: "of you, me and the NF (who davened a 2-hour shacharit), who do you think was best?" you were, Big Gong, you were.
4. To the gonging gabbai --- for all his hard work over the chagim even if some of his baal tefilla selections were absolute bombs. Shkoychi.
As mentioned above, the NF led shacharit at the vatikin minyan (start time: 4:50 AM) which was a bit tricky. After getting through hamelech, I realized I had 7 minutes to get from barechu to גאל ישראל to hit נץ החמה. I turned on my special NF turbo engines and we hit it right on time. The NF did have to use a very fast melody for אל האדון, specifically the Carelbach לשנה הבאה בירושלים, which had the surprising effect of getting people singing at 5:15 AM.
The NF's melody selection:
אתה הוא אלהינו -- Naa'r Hayiti (For the record Yoni R, who continues to remind me that he is the only person on the blog without a cool pseudoname, told me that it was a kitsch selection) ---- with three part harmony from YS and Dr D.
היום יכתב- Mochel Avonot
אמרו לאלוהים - a large assortment of melodys including yachad, shomrim mafkidim, boi v'shalom (Carlebach) etc.
מעשה אלהינו - the London Yom Shabaton. I thought a lot about Marc Weinberg z"l while we we made our way through this piyut....we always sang this melody when our families had shabbat lunch together.
על ישראל - v'haviotim
האדרת והאמונה - the Seudah shlishit melody
קדושה -- from kvodo through shma yisrael, the Breslov Lecha Dodi.
שמע קולינו -- from Al tashlichenu etc I used the high part from lev tahor....
אנו עמך-- tzamah nafshi
אבינו מלכינו זכר רחמך -- prok yat anach
ואני תפילתי -- the NF "borrowed" YS's idea of using Baruch El Elyon...Luckily Mrs. NF wasn't there to scream at both of us for using too many shabbat melodies in the middle of Yamim Noraim davening.
for the record the NF really missed hearing YS's neilah....As noted in a prior post, the gabbaim didn't want anyone to have a chazaka so YS didn't lead neilah this year --- in my opinion a mistake. The person who led neilah used the geshem/tal meoldy for kaddish (gong) and the regular yamim noraim melody for avot (double gong). At least he sang mochel avonot a few time and he finished on time!
Time to go practice waving various garden specimens around.
-- the (very hoarse) NF
Monday, September 6, 2010
לשמוע אל הרינה ואל התפילה
this past Motza"sh, the NF, Yoni R, the "logical African" (the NF's annual hot date for selichot night) and the logical African's father in law, Murray the drug pusher, went to hear Shlomo Glick lead selichot accompanied by Srulik Hirshtik's choir.
The choir was phenomenal and Shlomo Glick did an absolutly fantastic job (and this is coming from a guy who does not particularly care for chazzanut).
Links to snipits recorded by the logical African can be found below:
אשרי/קדיש
לכו נרננה
לשמוע אל הרינה
והביאותים
כתיבה וחתימה טובה
the NF
The choir was phenomenal and Shlomo Glick did an absolutly fantastic job (and this is coming from a guy who does not particularly care for chazzanut).
Links to snipits recorded by the logical African can be found below:
אשרי/קדיש
לכו נרננה
לשמוע אל הרינה
והביאותים
כתיבה וחתימה טובה
the NF
Monday, August 30, 2010
Random stuff
The NF hasn't posted since early July ---- very little interesting material has presented itself.
So some random stuff:
1. the NF finished Sefer Breishit last week just about one year after starting. At the pace I'm currently writing (1 hour a day, 7 days a week --- I write Friday morning and Motzash), I should be done in another three years. Here's a picture from the start of פרשת ויחי:
2. With the High Holiday Days almost upon us, the NF is getting ready to lead Shacharit Second day R"h and Shacharit at the neighborhood vatikin minyan on Yom Kippur. Right now, I'm petrified I'm going to catch a nasty cold a few days before R"h....
3. The gabbaim at the NF's shul decided that no one should have a chazaka on any particular tefilla.
But for some reason, the gabbaim decided to overlook this issue when they asked the yodeler to lead y"k mincha for the third year running.
Here is what the big gong had to say about that:
-----Original Message-----
From: The Big Gong
Sent: Thursday, August 26, 2010 6:23 PM
To: the NF
Subject: Y"k
Is there any explanation for why the Yoddler managed to get the same slot (actually any slot) three years in a row? Is the Gonging Gabbai in cahoots with the dry cleaner that will be cleaning all the soiled pants (American translation: crapped underpants) after YK?
---- End message ----
To tell you the truth, other than kedusha and kaddish, the yodeler does a respectable job. The last two years he has managed to finish mincha within five minutes of the time allocated to him for mincha. And --- other than kedusha and kaddish --- his nusach is passable. So the gonging gabbai and I were trying to think of ways to tell the yodeler, nicely, not to do his off-key yodeling bit. The problem: every suggestion ended up sounding like this: "Hey yodeler, you know that melody you use for kedusha? It makes people laugh so hard they cry and then they crap and wet themselves. It makes mother's milk turn sour. It causes mixed dancing. It causes our children to turn off the derech. It is probably responsible fo global warming, AIDs, land mines, many cancers and Air Supply. So would you mind not using this year (or ever)."
4. A sign the apaocolypse is coming: The gonging gabbai asked both Mendy and Shloime to daven musaf over the last few weeks and told them not to sing avinu avinu. And they didn't. Shloime did get a bit of a hurt look on his face when he was told not to do it.
5. This coming motzash I have my annual hot date with a neighborhood buddy to go hear a chazan and choir for first selichot. This year, we are going to hear Shlomo Glick accompanied by Srulik Herstik's awesome choir.
6. The guy leading kol nidrei this year at the NF's shul asked me to record my nusach...so I downloaded recording software onto my PC. Now my kids like to sneak itno the office, open the software and record themselves singing Shama lama ding dong as sung by Otis Day (shlit"a) and the Knights in the heilige movie Animal House. (you can guess who taught the little NFs (ages 8, 6, 4 and 2) how to sing that song).
7. If anyone has any R"h/Y"k nusach questions, email them in and I'll try to answer with accompanying recordings. Please don't ask me questions about Y"k musaf --- I've never learned it.
---The NF
So some random stuff:
1. the NF finished Sefer Breishit last week just about one year after starting. At the pace I'm currently writing (1 hour a day, 7 days a week --- I write Friday morning and Motzash), I should be done in another three years. Here's a picture from the start of פרשת ויחי:
2. With the High Holiday Days almost upon us, the NF is getting ready to lead Shacharit Second day R"h and Shacharit at the neighborhood vatikin minyan on Yom Kippur. Right now, I'm petrified I'm going to catch a nasty cold a few days before R"h....
3. The gabbaim at the NF's shul decided that no one should have a chazaka on any particular tefilla.
But for some reason, the gabbaim decided to overlook this issue when they asked the yodeler to lead y"k mincha for the third year running.
Here is what the big gong had to say about that:
-----Original Message-----
From: The Big Gong
Sent: Thursday, August 26, 2010 6:23 PM
To: the NF
Subject: Y"k
Is there any explanation for why the Yoddler managed to get the same slot (actually any slot) three years in a row? Is the Gonging Gabbai in cahoots with the dry cleaner that will be cleaning all the soiled pants (American translation: crapped underpants) after YK?
---- End message ----
To tell you the truth, other than kedusha and kaddish, the yodeler does a respectable job. The last two years he has managed to finish mincha within five minutes of the time allocated to him for mincha. And --- other than kedusha and kaddish --- his nusach is passable. So the gonging gabbai and I were trying to think of ways to tell the yodeler, nicely, not to do his off-key yodeling bit. The problem: every suggestion ended up sounding like this: "Hey yodeler, you know that melody you use for kedusha? It makes people laugh so hard they cry and then they crap and wet themselves. It makes mother's milk turn sour. It causes mixed dancing. It causes our children to turn off the derech. It is probably responsible fo global warming, AIDs, land mines, many cancers and Air Supply. So would you mind not using this year (or ever)."
4. A sign the apaocolypse is coming: The gonging gabbai asked both Mendy and Shloime to daven musaf over the last few weeks and told them not to sing avinu avinu. And they didn't. Shloime did get a bit of a hurt look on his face when he was told not to do it.
5. This coming motzash I have my annual hot date with a neighborhood buddy to go hear a chazan and choir for first selichot. This year, we are going to hear Shlomo Glick accompanied by Srulik Herstik's awesome choir.
6. The guy leading kol nidrei this year at the NF's shul asked me to record my nusach...so I downloaded recording software onto my PC. Now my kids like to sneak itno the office, open the software and record themselves singing Shama lama ding dong as sung by Otis Day (shlit"a) and the Knights in the heilige movie Animal House. (you can guess who taught the little NFs (ages 8, 6, 4 and 2) how to sing that song).
7. If anyone has any R"h/Y"k nusach questions, email them in and I'll try to answer with accompanying recordings. Please don't ask me questions about Y"k musaf --- I've never learned it.
---The NF
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